I came across a journal entry that I wrote several months ago. The truth of it is still ringing in my ears...
Last night I was getting Sam ready for bed and he was not obeying me (for what seemed like the 50th time that day!). Instead of doing what I asked him to do he came up to me, wrapped his arms around my neck and said,
"I love you soooooo much."
A statement that usually melts my heart, this time it sounded mocking and hollow.
"I love you too, but instead of telling me that you love me, I want you to show me by obeying me."
Instantly the Lord echoed those words in my heart.
"Don't just tell me how much you love Me, I just want you to obey Me."
I thought about how hollow Sam's "I love you" sounded in that situation. And how my own "I love you" must sound to God, when it is not accompanied by obedience.
Because Sam is four, his love for me is immature. It's based mostly on his feelings at the moment. He does whatever feels right- not realizing that a demonstration of true love towards me would be to obey whether he feels like it or not- trusting that what I've asked him to do is in his best interest.
Yet, even in my "maturity" as a child of Christ for over 20 yrs. I too, have an immature love for God sometimes. If I really loved Him with a secure, developed love- and truly understood His love for me- I would obey.
"If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."
Lord, please help me to love You. Please open my eyes to see when I'm just giving You lip service instead of truly obeying You. Please deepen my understanding of what it means to love You and to see clearly the love You have for me.